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2 summers ago I traveled to Beijing in a group of 7 friends to visit our friend who’d been teaching English to the locals.  From that absolutely ridiculous trip (ridiculous as in awesome, badass, etc.), I’ve narrowed down my…

Beijing Top 8:

8. Stay at the Beijing Century Towers Hotel.  You can find my super long reviewon TripAdvisor.com (the first one ever!).  The hotel is local, so it’s way cheaper than import hotels like the Marriott, and the location and facilities are excellent.  Not to mention each bathroom is bedazzled with American Standard toilets, which is an absolute blessing after a long day of site seeing and crapping in holes.  You can book them on SinoHotel.com worry-free.

7. Eat at local places.  This is one of those generic rules of travel- if you see a lot of local people eating someplace, no matter how hole-in-the-wall it may appear, try it.  There were 7 of us eating at these places and not one of us got sick the entire time.

6.  Wipe off your plates, glasses, and silverwear before using.  This one we learned from our local friend- apparently eating off surfaces that’ve been washed in tap water allows for tummy troubles.  Believe me, this will save you many lost minutes wasting away in front of the lovely American Standard toilet at your hotel.

5. Say hello to Rocky for us.  Seriously, our Beijing friend introduced us to an awesome guy named Rocky (by choice, I believe) who showed us around the lake district and Beihai Park.  And even if you can’t find Rocky, visit the lake area, at night there is a kickass restaurant and hang-out scene.

4. Avoid the Hard Rock Cafe at all costs.  I don’t know what the hell it is about this place, but large groups of tourists feel somehow drawn to this gigantic rip-off.  When you think about it, Beijing isn’t exactly known for its awesome hamburgers- can you even imagine what goes into one?  Even if you think you’re just stopping off for a Hard Rock Beijing t-shirt, don’t be fooled!  You can probably get that t-shirt for 80% less at the Silk Street Market.

3. Go to the Acrobatics Macrocosm at the Chaoyang Theater.  It will blow your mind.

2. Do not go to the free cultural exhibit promised to you by nice-seeming young Chinese men in Tiananmen Square.  There is no cultural exhibit, there is only communist propaganda.  It’s like when you see the Jehovah’s Witnesses coming down your street.  The kingdom of heaven is not at hand.

1. Visit Ritan Park and others, where locals practice the ancient art of tai chi every day.  The parks are clean and peaceful, and the grass kindly reminds you, “please do not disturb me” with its little signs.

And yes, it’s completely and totally worth it to visit the big sites- Forbidden City, Olympic Park, Summer Palace, Temple of Heaven, Sichuan dining, The Great Wall, Beijing Zoo, etc…

Favorite Mandarin Chinese Phrases (spelled phonetically):

• Ting Boo Dong- I don’t understand.
• Ni Hao- Hello
• Shi-yeh Shi-yeh- Thank you
• Boo- No
• Boo yao, shi-yeh shi-yeh: No thank you
• She show jen zy nar- Where is the bathroom?